What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
