Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
