ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
