do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
