i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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