I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize