I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
