I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
