Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
