Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
