Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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