Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize