The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just pee around me
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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