If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
