Where is the hickey?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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