Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
