Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
