Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
