i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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