I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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