do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
