Don't you send me to vm
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
