i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
