I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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