Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
