So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
