apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
