you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
