I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I need moral support for this bender
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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