dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
