Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Randomize
