is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize