don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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