maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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