Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
