I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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