The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
