So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
