I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
