just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize