If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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