We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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