Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
