my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
