I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
