Its about making memories worth repressing
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
