Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
