Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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