and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
