Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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