Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
