Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
All I want is dick and wine.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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