you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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