there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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