I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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