Plan B is the new Plan A
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
