Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
