You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
