I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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