I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
