a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
