Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i wish my penis had a tongue
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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